Skip Muller USNA ’96

Having not looked at my profile in a long time, I thought it wise to update it given the long-awaited repeal of DADT. Congratulations and thanks to all of those who worked tirelessly over many years to achieve this victory, both through direct activism and simply through honorable service that has worked to overcome false and negative prejudices. Every time a person finds out that a respected shipmate is gay, that's one more person who overcomes prejudice. While changing the law will help to prevent and eliminate many of the risks and fears that gay & lesbian servicemembers have suffered for so long, changing a law doesn't automatically change minds. I still recommend that active duty members exercise caution with regard to how they "come out" or reveal themselves within their commands, as issues of fairness in work treatment and even personal safety will vary widely from command to command.

Many of those who are younger and especially those still on active duty can think that life in the "civilian world" is a rainbow of freedom of expression. That's not necessarily the case. We still still have a long way to go in society before a person can openly reveal himself as being gay in the private sector without serious risks with regard to employment and business opportunities. Not everyplace is like what we see on TV....Remember that in many states, such as Florida, it's still perfectly legal to fire an employee just for being gay/lesbian. While I no longer feel a need to lie about my sexuality and life situation, I certainly don't feel free to advertise my status in the corporate world before I get to know clients and colleagues. That's something to consider as you (younger active duty folks) open up your lives on FaceBook and put out a lot of information that you can't take back. I advocate loving yourself and being open, but do so with some mature thought towards your future goals and opportunities.

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I grew up in a family with a military service tradition. My father flew B-17's in Europe in World War II, and when I was four and my parents decided to move from New York to Florida, we settled in Satellite Beach, FL, next to Patrick AFB because my father (then retired from the advertising business in New York) liked to be around pilots.

Skip Muller ’96
as a mid

After graduating from Cocoa Beach High School in Cocoa Beach, FL, I turned down a scholarship to Florida State University because I felt a burning desire to enlist in the Navy as a crypto-linguist. I went through 1.5 years of basic and advanced Russian training at the Defense Language Institute on the grounds of the Presidio of Monterey in Monterey, CA, followed by cryptology school at Goodfellow AFB in San Angelo, TX. My career took an unexpected turn when the Berlin Wall came down, my career prospects disappeared and I earned a nomination to USNA via NAPS.

After commissioning as a Surface Warfare Officer I had a challenging and rewarding DIVO tour aboard a pre-commission destroyer, USS DECATUR DDG 73, built in Maine and stationed in San Diego. I saw the ship through the late phase of construction through sea trials, christening, commissioning, more sea trials and prep for deployment. My second officer tour as the Assistant Auxiliaries Officer aboard the aircraft carrier USS JOHN C STENNIS CVN 74 was cut short by my discharge under DADT.

During my nearly twelve years active duty in the Navy, including my four years at USNA, I experienced a lot. It was challenging to come of age and grapple with my sexuality while active duty in the Navy, and yet despite the difficulties I left with a valuable enlisted and officer experience that proved to myself I could succeed under any level of difficulty. I am grateful to the Navy for that experience, and for the great lifelong friendships I gained during those years, and in fact I’ve returned to work for the Navy as a business and technology consultant since 2007. Every day when I arrive at work at the Washington Navy Yard I feel renewed in my desire to serve in the best capacity I can and to offer whatever assistance and support possible to my fellow enlisted, midshipmen and officer comrades.

Through USNA Out I’ve had the honor and privilege of supporting gay and lesbian mids and officers, and through them I’ve met a wide array of their friends and shipmates who’ve shown me that sailors in general appreciate any useful support that helps them achieve success and better themselves, regardless of our sexual orientation. That’s what the Navy is about to me – achieving the mission and helping each other out along the way. My experiences and travels in the Navy have exceeded my expectations for personal, career and intellectual growth, and despite the challenges I wouldn't trade my experiences for anything.

In 1998 while on active duty as an officer in San Diego, I met the person who became my life partner, a then college student who has gone on to become a great chef. He and I are 13 years into a fulfilling relationship that has seen numerous moves, career changes and personal challenges, and I have to thank the Navy for bringing me to San Diego!

I currently work as program manager and consultant for a private company doing work for the U.S. Navy. It's funny how life comes full circle. I am proud to "serve" the Navy in this capacity and I greatly value the friendships I've enjoyed with the friends I've met through USNA Out.

Please feel free to contact me here at USNA Out.

Sincerely,

Skip Muller '96